We live in an increasingly polarised world. Whether it’s politics, social issues, or personal identities, people are being pushed to extremes, asked to choose sides, and placed in opposition to one another.
The rise of binary thinking—this or that, left or right, male or female—has fuelled division and deepened societal fractures. But what if one of the simplest ways to push back against this polarisation was to embrace something as fundamental as non-binary language?
The use of they/them pronouns instead of gendered pronouns is not just about inclusivity for non-binary individuals - it’s about changing the way we think. Moving away from rigid gender binaries in language helps us move away from rigid, polarised thinking in all aspects of life. It’s a shift that opens up dialogue, fosters equality, and challenges the divisions which are causing so much harm in our world today.
Polarisation is tearing apart families, communities, and even entire nations. One of the clearest examples is Brexit, which divided the UK so deeply that, even years later, the social and political fractures remain. Similar extreme divisions are happening in the U.S. and across Europe, where issues like immigration, LGBTQ+ rights, and climate change have become battlegrounds rather than subjects for meaningful discussion.
Binary thinking fuels this polarisation. When we force people into rigid categories - right or wrong, male or female, pro or anti - we leave no room for nuance, complexity, or compromise. The same kind of us vs. them mindset that fuels political extremism is also at play in the way we think about gender.
Language shapes thought.
One of the most powerful ways to challenge binary thinking is through language. Language doesn’t just reflect our reality - it actively shapes how we see the world. That’s why shifting to gender-neutral pronouns isn’t just about gender inclusivity; it’s about fostering a mindset that allows for fluidity, flexibility, and understanding.
The good news? We already do this. We already use They/Them all the time
Many people resist using they/them pronouns because they claim it feels unnatural. But the truth is, we already use they/them in everyday speech and writing when we don’t know someone’s gender. Here are just a few examples:
- Someone left their phone on the table—do you know if they’ll come back for it?
- If a customer calls, tell them I’ll get back to them later.
- A journalist must always check their sources before they publish an article.
Most modern writers, journalists, and academics have moved away from using he or she as a universal pronoun because it feels exclusionary and outdated. They/them has become the default because it’s more natural and inclusive.
If we are already doing this in anonymous contexts, why do we struggle to apply it when someone tells us it’s their identity?
They/Them helps dismantle polarisation
By normalising the use of the pronouns "they and them,” we do more than just include non-binary people - we change the way people think about gender, identity, and even broader societal divisions:
- It Challenges the Idea That There Are Only Two Sides
- If gender isn’t strictly male or female, then perhaps other issues aren’t strictly for or against, left or right, winner or loser. It creates room for the middle ground.
- It Encourages More Thoughtful Conversations
- When people become aware of gender-neutral language, they start thinking more critically about how language impacts people. This same skill - questioning assumptions - helps us navigate political and social discussions more effectively.
- It Reduces Conflict and Increases Understanding
- The use of non-binary pronouns removes unnecessary barriers to respect and communication. It’s a small linguistic shift that signals an openness to different identities and perspectives, making conversation and compromise easier in other areas of life.
- It Creates a More Equal Society
- Much of the gender binary is rooted in power structures - men are expected to be strong, women to be submissive. But if gender is not binary, then neither are the roles society assigns to people. This helps break down stereotypes, allowing for more fluid, equal relationships in workplaces, leadership, and daily life.
Unlike major societal reforms, changing pronouns is one of the simplest things we can do to create a more equal, less divided world. It doesn’t require new laws or policies - just a shift in awareness and willingness to adapt.
By making they/them the norm rather than the exception, we take a step toward undoing the damage of polarisation - not just in gender identity but in how we approach difference in every aspect of society. It’s a small change that can lead to a bigger, better conversation about unity, respect, and equality.
A Non-Binary Future?
The world is changing. Younger generations, especially Gen Z are rejecting rigid binaries and embracing fluidity in gender, politics, and identity. If we truly want a less polarised, more equal society, we must be willing to rethink the way we use language.
The first step? Start with they/them.
If we can accept a non-binary approach to language, perhaps we can begin to accept a non-binary approach to life - one that moves away from extreme polarisation and toward a world where nuance, understanding, and respect take centre stage.
Are you ready to step beyond the binary?
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